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Righteous Romance Tip #3: Jealousy

Some of you are wondering what jealousy has to do with righteous romance. After all, doesn’t the Bible place jealousy squarely in the category of what is sinful?

For instance Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 12:20:

“For I am afraid that when I come I won’t like what I find, and you won’t like my response. I am afraid that I will find quarreling, jealousy, anger, selfishness, slander, gossip, arrogance, and disorderly behavior.“

And in Galatians 5:19-20, jealousy is listed as one of the works of the flesh:

“Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies,”

So what’s jealousy have to do with righteous romance? Everything.

We are not talking about carnal jealousy which is rooted in a heart filled with fear, insecurity, hurt or control. We are referring to the godlike quality of jealousy.

Did you know that one of the names of God is “Jealous.”

You must worship no other gods, for the LORD, whose very name is Jealous, is a God who is jealous about his relationship with you.
Exodus 34:14 (NLT)

Jealousy in and of itself is not good. It is only godly and helpful when it protects the covenant relationship. Jealousy is love’s boundary. Jealousy is like a strong fence that keeps out intruders from encroaching upon the marriage covenant.

Jealousy is meant to defend love, not destroy it.

This is why the Bride cries out to her Beloved,

Place me like a seal over your heart,
like a seal on your arm.
For love is as strong as death,
its jealousy as enduring as the grave.
Song of Songs 8:6-7

Love needs the security of a covenant – “My beloved is mine and I am His; his banner over me is love.” Jealousy is aroused when someone or something takes first place in the heart of the beloved.

Jealousy says, “I should be first.”

Ask your spouse to list, from his/her perspective, what they consider to be your top five priorities or passions. Then take a look at the list. If your spouse is not securely on top in the #1 position, something is wrong.

In a spirit of holy jealousy, work diligently to keep your spouse in an uncontested place of pre-eminence and you’ll have a protected garden where romance can flourish.

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