Posts Tagged ‘commitment’

Three Keys to Marital Intimacy

March 5th, 2014 2 comments

intimacy2The world is filled with billions of people, each of whom is entirely unique. Yet each has one thing in common. We all long to experience true intimacy.

Intimacy literally means “in-to-me-see.” It involves the sharing of our very life and soul with another. Of course, this need was created in us by God to point us back to Him as the fulfillment of this longing. But God has also given us another relationship, the covenant union between a man and a woman, to allow us to experience intimacy with another person. In fact, the Bible teaches that this was God’s express purpose for creating marriage.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
Genesis 2:24-25

You see, we were designed to connect. This is what intimacy is all about. We were created to be emotionally, spiritually and physically “naked” with our spouse. This occurs when a husband and wife are able to be emotionally open with one another, and reveal their true feelings, thoughts, fears and desires. This can only occur when both people are able to genuinely trust one another, and feel able to take the risk of being vulnerable.

You see, marital intimacy is a shared and secure relationship of love. This kind of intimacy cannot happen without commitment. For intimacy to occur, you must place your relationship within the context of a permanent, covenant relationship. Attempts to be truly intimate apart from covenant commitment are doomed for failure. This explains the abject failure of co-habitation as a testing ground for marriage. You can’t pretend to be married. Marriage starts with commitment.

How committed are you to your spouse?

Have you ever used the “D” word against your spouse [divorce]? This word damages the foundation of commitment that is necessary for true intimacy to occur.

Have expressed to your spouse your undying commitment? If not, let your spouse know. Commitment can never be expressed too often.

Where are the Pigs?

October 22nd, 2010 5 comments

I’m teaching a really fun class right now at Indiana Wesleyan University on “Marriage & Family.” One of the points of discussion is on the whole topic of “Love & Mate Selection.” I came across some wonderful wisdom for our sex-crazed, emotionally driven culture where we are “in love” one moment and “out of love” the next.

Instead of focusing on the feeling of love, set your attention on the essence of love. Instead of asking the question, “Do I still love that person?” begin asking a better question – “What is the level of my commitment in this relationship?”

You see, a couple’s level of commitment to each other is a much better indicator of whether the relationship will endure. Words can be cheap. Emotions can fluctuate. But a commitment to love is a rock solid cornerstone for building a lasting relationship.

Someone once explained the difference between romantic involvement and commitment in a relationship as the difference between bacon and eggs – the chicken is involved, but the pig is committed.

In this day of chicken-hearted relationships, it’s time to ask, “Where are the pigs?!”